Pour me another tequila Sheila

It looks like Tequila Sheila is a bit of a gender bender and could end up as Watermelon Man. The world has obviously been drinking a tad too much tequila and now it’s suffering from an identity crisis – the curse of the infernal marketing gurus. This poor man’s liquor has been elevated to a trendy, fashionable drink on an international basis but now it’s on the ropes in the cosmopolitan fickle fight for fame and fortune.
In the 90’s tequila’s popularity soared, creating a scarcity of agave, the plant from which it is distilled. Agave prices went up 1600% and tequila production lagged behind demand so Miguel and Gonzales decided here’s an opportunity, let’s plant agave. Problem was that Pedro and Pancho had exactly the same idea and although normal service has been resumed at the moment, we are looking to a glut of agave in about 3 years. No problem say the marketing bozos, we’ll just do what we did to vodka when faced with declining sales – we’ll do flavoured tequila ! Anything goes in our global village so let’s start with watermelon. Watermelon tequila ? Has the world completely lost it’s marbles ?
Now the Mexican Tequila Regulatory Board doesn’t let the drink go to it’s head so they have had the good sense to allow flavouring, but not in the 100% agave variety. Their attitude seems to be ” We can’t sit on a glut of tequila otherwise everyone will suffer again so if you must flavour something then at least confine it  to the lesser blends. We aren’t that perturbed since it will all be for the export market anyway – nobody in their right mind will drink it in Mexico .” The only sad part is that across the Rio Grande, Los Americanos with scant regard for anyone’s traditions have already started buying up ” near tequilas ” and blending them with artificial flavours. Expect to see watermelon, lime, coffee, strawberry and orange tequilas in the not too distant future. I fear that they will be a major hit with the ear rings and ponytails.