Master the simple things in life first

In yet another book of celebrity recipes recently published, Joan Rivers the comedienne, offers a great recipe for toast which will really help you master the culinary complexities – put bread in the toaster, press handle down, wait for toast to pop up, spread with butter. Truly a recipe stripped to the bare necessities, possibly more worthy of the Naked Chef than Joan Rivers but then she probably stole the recipe like everyone else does!
I used to work in a very grand hotel where on a daily basis the Assistant Food and Beverage Manager would come into the Coffee Shop after service to order his breakfast. Being a bit of a joker he would order a hot breakfast and then patiently, line by line, describe his recipe for toast to the waiter – take some bread, preferably about 3 or 4 days old, break a bit off one or two corners, place under a hot grill for 4 minutes on one side until blackish and then 30 seconds on the other side, scrape most of the black side so that the carbon gets trapped in the small pockets in the bread, leave to go cold for 10 minutes and then dip briefly in cold tea before serving with frozen butter. The waiter would listen politely and then reply ” We couldn’t possibly do that Sir. We just haven’t got the time!” Straight faced, the Manager would reply ” Why ever not – you certainly had the time yesterday morning!”
So toast is a very personal thing. I hate toast browned on both sides, I much prefer thick cut bread toasted golden on one side only and then spread with soft melted butter- pure heaven. The only problem I have is much the same as people with one leg, they can’t buy only one shoe and I can’t buy a pop up toaster with only one element.